Crappy Way to End the Week

“If you don’t know history, then you don’t know anything.  You are a leaf that doesn’t know it is part of a tree.” – Michael Crichton

Happy Easter or whatever celebration you celebrate at this time of the year.  My Easter morning experience involved extricating myself from between the wall and the toilet in my bathroom.  Using the potty can be a delicate discussion and usually involves just as delicate an action but I’m going to throw this out there.

Made a poor judgement on momentum this morning so between the landing and a very lose screw (one of two that hold the seat steady) I overshot the landing zone taking time for a face to face with my toilet plunger.

It seemed like a good time for a mental distraction as I wiggled physically to regain a vertical rather than horizontal perspective of the room.  That distraction turned into an epiphany involving physics.

I’ve broken my fair share of toilets in my life but baste on what I hear (or don’t hear) I don’t think it is an occurrence for most people. Getting myself dislodged gave me some time to reflect on it.

This is the bathroom in my “wheelchair” apartment.  There is no way a wheelchair is getting in beside that but whatever code interpreter was issuing the permit seemed to think this would work.  What the hell, I’ve been here almost three years and made it work.  So please don’t start on me about accommodation.  I’ve done my fair share.

I’ll bet you have never thought of this but the next time you go to sit on the toilet pay attention to how important knee motion is to lightly sit on the commode.  That knee movement allows for a much more controlled PSI landing.  It’s nice equal weight distribution which is what a good toilet is designed for.

My process is a little different (and for the record, there’s no such thing as “rushing” to a toilet trip in a wheelchair, keep that in mind healthcare providers the next time you want someone in a chair to do home prep the day before a sigmoidoscopy).  I have to get out of my wheelchair, walk on my knees (lucky as a polio person I have that luxury) across the bathroom floor, then swing myself up onto the toilet seat.  This means once I reach said safe harbour I have to jump up from the ground and land (hopefully) on the seat.  I balance my right hand on the wall side of the seat and then balance on my crutch while I jump up from a kneeling position.  Muscle memory orients me to my centre of balance, the torque on my right arm (the fulcrum arm), the timing of the shift on the lift to ensure a safe landing but there is one thing it doesn’t tell you.  If either bolt holding the seat in position are lose it can turn into one of those automated bucking bulls that thrill the insurance companies during Stampede week in Calgary.

I generally have someone on a semi-regular basis to tighten the bolts but the last person to do it was happy with the job he did (still pretty lose but it was volunteer work so what can I say) so I settled.  Good news was no real damage done (maybe an ego bruising) and a continuation of learning about my new favourite fundamental science, physics.  The laws of momentum and the principles of weight distribution.  Just when you think you have it all figured out you have another apple land on your head.  Anyway onwards and upwards.

We have a provincial elections coming up in BC so please get out and vote.  We seriously need change but the biggest change we need is in a higher voter turn out.  I will be voting and I am going to have to make a decision on my writing.  The reality is there are business costs albeit minimum but everyone adds up.  I get a lot of questions from people looking for certain forms of information and resource sites.  I have no problems doing that but I’m going to make a little plea here to all of my readers.  There is a DONATE button there for a reason.  My renewal date for another year of hosting comes due in June.  I’m not saying I won’t renew it but I am seeing costs increase so we all have a part to play.  Even $2 PayPal donations help, I know I’ve made enough of them…

Till later

Just one man’s opinion