Reflection or Refraction

I look in the mirror and what do I see,
The reflection there, that can’t be me,
Others see what they want me to be,
From the reflection that’s there I want to flee.

Who can say why Anthony Bourdain took his own life when a perceived success was knocking on his door?  Most of us have an idea of what others see in us but very few know how we see ourselves.  This had to be true of Anthony.  I enjoyed his adventures and his perceptions of the world however there was something Anthony saw differently.

His life wasn’t easy by his own admission.  He lived with our perception which can make it easy to avoid talking about the inner machinations we have to live with.  It is very difficult to survive the trauma’s of life Anthony went through on his way to success and then express your true feelings to those who admire your strength.  I believe this was Anthony’s curse.

In his travels he saw a lot of misery related to the poverty he was traveling with.  It can be impossible to discuss the depths of our own feelings when others perceive you one way and you perceive the world in a completely different way.  I didn’t know him personally but I have followed many of his travels and books over the years.  I also understand how we can see a reflection of ourselves in a mirror while living with the cracks created by a prism.

Good travels Mr. Bourdain, you gave more than you got but you accepted what you felt.