As Trauma Moves Through Our Life

I took a day off from writing just to process the full impact of my mothers passing. These really are life changing events so we often need time to just let them settle. I am sitting here in Calgary while my brother and sister have travelled to BC to actually work out all of the final actions required. One would be surprised by the level of paperwork and other things that have to be settled before we can move on.

To present this as a “blessing” due to the ending of suffering is simply an exercise for us to appease our own guilt. I avoided a lot of phone calls in the past number of years (not as many as I now wish I had made) in order to dodge the frustration of the repetitive tales of things she had forgotten she had already told me. In hindsight, I will miss those calls.

In a brief exchange with my brother last night to see I discovered that even something as simple as a cremation is a full week away which ties both siblings (brother from Alberta and sister from Ontario) tied to BC. Not that there won’t be lots to do, the paper work can mean days finding a “person” at the other end of that phone. You think getting your passport can be a timely event, try all of the paper work attached to that travel to the after life. In the meantime they are stuck dealing with this for another week. I know from my days working in a hospital, the thought of my mother “vessel” laying in a cold, dark cabinet (a coroner’s body filing system) is hard to take.

Time to start moving forward with the healing…

A Parents Love

I’ve had me many lovers,
I’ve even loved a few,
Regardless of my feelings,
I knew what I could do.

I always knew the boundaries,
I knew where I could go,
But once you have your children,
The love will really grow.

There are no rules or limits,
For the love we feel for them,
We love them unconditionally,
For from our love do stem,

We may get somewhat angry,
Over little things they do,
But we love them with a passion,
That’s reserved for very few.

So love your children dearly,
And build their life force strong,
For their life is so dependent,
On you as they move along,

We give our children lessons,
Throughout their younger years,
The love we feel for our children,
Is present in our tears.

-Terry Wiens 2010

More later…enjoy your week and hold those precious close