My sweet one,
I return these to you in the same way they were meant and that was one of gentleness and caring. The very make up of them reminded me of the fragile nature of your soul. The watch represented the time I hoped to spend with you in my lifetime and the chain reminded me of the subtle intricate nature of your beauty. As I mentioned in my e-mail should you decide not to keep them give them to someone as worthy as yourself.
Unless you want them back I have chosen to keep your pictures. It makes me feel good to be able to look at you. It also reminds me of why I need to keep my emotions in check. I think one can love too much. It appears you find it difficult to communicate with me so with that in mind should you want your pictures returned just send an e-mail with “Please return” in the subject line and you won’t need to say anymore.
When you reappeared in my life I had no idea I would trade one pain for another. My pain had been loneliness created by the emptiness I felt inside. You filled a happiness I didn’t even realize I had been missing. Sadly that fulfilment was fleeting, as was your presence. For that I am truly sorry. I traded the pain of my emptiness for the pain of love and my need for you created pain in your heart. I do hope you heal soon and that the grief I have caused you can open new hope for you. You are a person deserving of someone who can appreciate you while also giving you the life you are worthy of.
Keats’s once said “Beauty is truth, truth is beauty”. I would love to sit with Keats and discuss his belief around that quote as I now have a very hard time reconciling it. I do strive for the truth and in you I found beauty. Unfortunately my need for truth diminished the beauty I had found. You are that beauty. I miss you so much.
The melodic voice I held so dear,
The tender words that I could hear,
The soft angelic sounds she spoke,
The whispered sweetness when I woke.
Slipping out of sleep’s embrace,
Wondrous dreams now just a trace,
A duvet’s warmth upon my skin,
Dawn’s new light is shining in.
Where is the voice that roused me so?
Where is that sweetness I did know?
I realize now rising from my bed,
That long lost love lives in my head.
Terry Wiens 2011
Sunday reminiscing over preciousness lost I shall return with my writings of the real world…frightening as it is becoming…get ready for fall